


Love can Hurt

by weepingelm



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Complete, Crime Scenes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1423489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingelm/pseuds/weepingelm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has just proposed to Freya and they are off the buy the ring. From now on they had their lives planned, a small house, kids and their friends. But in a short space of time that would all be gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Buying the ring.

**Author's Note:**

> i KEEP FORGETTING THIS BIT... Merlin doesn't belong to me mores the pity, or it would still be on television.
> 
> Sorry Merlin I must stop being nasty to you.

Mr Arthur Pendragon was busy; life was never quiet in the hospital, not even at the weekends. He was just glad that as a consultant he only had to be on call every third weekend. Gone were the days when on call meant working twenty hours out of twenty four. Being a Consultant had some perks. Unfortunately today this weekend was busy and his on call and turned out to be more like on duty. But he figured that’s what you got for deciding on medicine as a career. He loved his job it was something he had always wanted to do, much to his father’s disgust. He could remember clearly the day he told his father he didn’t want to be a lawyer and join the family firm.

Arthur was hoping to be home by five o’clock. He had promised take his wife out tonight. They were planning to meet up with their friends for the Saturday night get together. It looked like they would all be able to make it. He had just finished the last operation planned for that day, and it was only two thirty.

It was a rare thing when all the friends could get together but they nearly all worked shifts. Most of his friends seemed to either work in healthcare or the police service. He supposed that was one of the reasons they had all become friends in the first place. It was surprising how often they came into contact due to their jobs. At least they understood the concept of working all hours. His best friend would be there tonight. He had known Merlin since he was ten and Merlin had been eight. Who would have guessed all those years ago they would both work in healthcare. He hadn’t been surprised when Merlin decided to become a paramedic after all he was following in his father’s footsteps.

Arthur wouldn’t be able to drink as he was still on call until ten o’clock but hopefully if anything else came in his registrar would be able to cope with it. He made his way to the theatre restroom to get a cup of coffee before having a shower and go home. As he got there he was greeted by one of the obstetrics registrars, he had been hoping to miss her. She knew he was happily married but seemed to think he was fair game. He wished she fancied the dark and brooding type. Unfortunately, as she frequently told him, she liked blonde hair and blue eyes which made him a target. Arthur decided to go to his office and make his own coffee and left as soon as he could. He knew Gwen would be waiting for him.

Ten miles away Merlin was excited, today was the day. He had the same days off, the first time in ages, as Freya his girlfriend. Both worked shifts over seven days, he was a paramedic and Freya was an A&E nurse, it didn’t make things easy. But today he had made the most of it; he had asked her to marry him. They had been childhood sweethearts but at long last he had enough saved for a deposit on a small house. All the shifts and weekends had been worth it.

So he had taken Freya to the New Forest. They both loved going for walks there and then afterwards he took her to her favourite restaurant for lunch and proposed. She had said yes. He had given the proposal a great deal of thought. He had nearly got the ring first but he knew she would love to help him pick it. So instead he had asked her without the ring.

Now they were going to buy the ring before telling their families. Tonight they were going out with their friends and could share their news with everyone. He knew Arthur would be pleased he had been telling Merlin to make Freya a happy woman for the last year. It was a pity Freya’s brother was not in the country but they had decided to skype him later. 

Merlin and Freya were driving towards Camelot the nearest town to the small village they had both been brought up in. Freya was sitting beside him and was happy and smiling. Every so often she put her hand on his knee. Not enough to distract him from his driving but it was nice. Both of them were fed up with living with their parents and wanted to be together. They had both decided they didn’t want a big wedding that would take months to plan. Instead they would get married in three months when they had already booked of a fortnight’s holiday. The money a big wedding would cost would be better spent on their new home.

It wasn’t surprising they both had the same ideas about such things. They had known each other for seven years, and had become something of a joke with their friends. But they had both wanted to have the deposit for their own place before getting married. They also both wanted to finish their training and be settled in jobs.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin pulled up in the market place and parked the car. He quickly got the parking ticket and locked up the car. For once they didn’t sit by the fountain for awhile, which was their normal habit but headed straight for the shops. Freya knew which Jewellers she wanted to go to and they headed towards it weaving their way through the busy streets. 

They made a good looking couple. Both slender Freya had long dark brown hair and large brown expressive eyes. Merlin was some eight inches taller than her at just under six foot. He had black hair that always looked like it needed brushing. On first appearance his face shouldn’t have been good looking, his ears stuck out to much and he lacked the instant attraction his friend Arthur had, but on second glance people noticed his deep cerulean eyes and high cheek bones that looked sharp enough to cut paper. Together the couple looked good, like they were meant to be together. 

Merlin and Freya were deeply in love; Merlin was highly protective of her and would do anything for her. Freya had a tendency to be shy, where as Merlin made friends easily but had a sharp tongue when needed. What they shared was that people loved both of them.

Merlin opened the shop door so Freya could enter. They went towards the displays and stood looking trying to decide what style to go for. The jeweller Mr James came towards them he recognised Merlin. This was the shop he bought many presents from for both Freya and his Mum, at Christmas and birthdays. Mr James had a good idea what the couple were looking to buy. He enjoyed selling engagement and wedding rings; it was the best part of the job for him and he had been selling jewellery for over thirty years. His father had owned the shop before him and very little had changed.

Merlin asked Mr James if they could look at one of the trays and try some on. Mr James got the tray out and then measured Freya’s figure for size, she had long slender fingers. Then the couple started to select the ones they liked. Freya picked out a ring with a centre amethyst with a small diamond on each side. Putting it on her finger they moved nearer the window, at the side of the shop, to look at it daylight.

As they moved the door bell sounded and two men burst in. Merlin glance up as the door was flung open. He noticed that the men had their faces covered and one had a shotgun. His heart sank and he quickly stood in front of Freya telling her to stay behind him. The man with the shot gun told them to get away from the window and get on the floor. Merlin helped Freya get down and lay in front of her. Mr James was told to open up the cabinets and then join them on the floor.

The two men then started to grab as much jewellery as they could and threw it in sacks they had brought inn with them. As they moved closer Merlin kept an eye on them. He was scared something would happen to Freya and wanted to keep her safe’ He held onto her hand to help calm her. Then they heard police sirens coming towards the area. 

“Did you press the alarm?” the man with the gun demanded, looking straight at the Jeweller. 

Mr James shook his head.

“Someone must have seen us.” the other man shouted out. “Let’s get out of here.”  
By now the robbers could see the police car as it pulled into the street. The getaway car’s engine was running and the man with the gun tried to get Freya to stand up. “You’re coming with us, do as your told and nothing will happen to you.”  
Merlin didn’t let go of her hand “Take me! Leave her alone. Please” he begged.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin stood up telling Freya to stay still. The man with the gun was close now and kicked Freya “Get up you slag or I’ll shoot your man.” Freya got up and the man grabbed her. Merlin was desperate. “Please she’ll pass out; she has a heart condition take me.” He lied hoping to put them off. 

The other man shouted “Take him, come on let’s get out of here before any more cops arrive.”

Freya was pushed to one side and Merlin found himself held round the neck with the shot gun pointed at his head and being dragged to the door.

The police had parked the car and where coming toward the shop. Seeing that the robbers were armed, and had a hostage, moved back letting the three men pass. As they approached the getaway car Freya came out of the shop screaming for Merlin. The man in the getaway car panicked and fired a shot with a hand gun towards the screaming girl. As he pressed the trigger Merlin saw Freya fall to the ground, he pulled away and ran back towards her.   
“Freya No!” his voice broken. As he got to her he heard a bang, and felt a pain in his back before blackness overcame him. The armed robber from the shop had fired at the distraught man, just as a second police car arrived on the scene. The second car quickly blocked in the escape car and two armed officers got out of the car. They quickly arrested the driver and disarmed him before taking aim on the other armed man.

“Give yourself up.” came the shout from one of the armed police. The unarmed robber held up his arms and was told to lie on the ground. The other one ran off and a search was soon underway.

With the robbery was over, one of the policemen approach the couple on the floor, as another called for an ambulance. He could see that Freya was dead she had been shot in the head. He felt her pulse to be sure but she was gone. Merlin was unconscious and bleeding heavily. The shot gun had caught him in the back at close range, there was blood everywhere.

More sirens approached and the scene was soon swarming with police. The fast response medical motorbike arrived and the paramedic went to the shot couple. As he saw Freya’s face he paled and quickly checked her. He was too late to help her. He then looked at Merlin and quickly started to treat the man for blood loss and shock. As the two ambulances arrived they quickly got to work stabilising the young man. One of the paramedics called ahead to the hospital to give details. They were stunned and shocked to see one of their colleagues as a victim. They also knew Freya from A&E. The driver of the second ambulance told one of the policemen that the victims were an Accident and Emergency nurse and a paramedic. He told them their names so they could tell the next of kin.

While the ambulance men were working on Merlin the plain clothes police arrived. They walked towards the scene. The one went into the shop while the other walked toward the scene outside the shop. He had a quick word with the officers before turning to walk toward the victims of the shootings. He was a man in his thirties and looked like the cinemas idea of a tough cop. About six and a half feet tall and muscular with short close cropped hair. He looked down at Freya body and swore, he then walked quickly to where they were working on Merlin. His face paled :  
“Oh Christ no, please no” He turned to the uniformed man by the side of him “That’s Merlin Emrys, he’s a friend of mine the dead girls his girlfriend.” Then he turned and shouted toward the shop.

“Leon get here!” The other plain clothes man came out of the shop and quickly went to his partner’s side. 

“What’s up Percy?” Then he looked down at Merlin. 

“Oh Shit! I’ll call Arthur.”

Within a few minutes the whole area was cordoned off. The first ambulance was on its way with a police escort. Freya had been pronounced dead and her body was loaded into the second ambulance. Only a pool of blood, and a chalk shape drawn onto the tarmac showed where she had been.

Arthur was sat in his office as his mobile rang. He was surprised to see Leon come up as the caller, expecting it to be Gwen. He answered it and his face paled. As soon as Leon told him what had happened he ran to theatres to warn them he would need a theatre soon for a major case and then went to A&E. He found the A&E consultant and started to tell him only to find out that they knew and in three minutes the ambulance with Merlin on board arrived. The A&E staff all knew Merlin and were shocked by what had happened. As yet Freya’s death was not common knowledge. Her parents would be informed first.

Arthur help where he could as the trauma team got to work on Merlin. He had lost a lot of blood and had gone into shock. While they were waiting for x rays he made sure he had a good team ready for theatre. One of the other consultants had been called and offered to do the operation, Arthur declined. He knew he was the best, and was determined to help his childhood friend. 

As Arthur was waiting for Merlin to be anaesthetised he rang Merlin’s mother Hunith. He knew she had already been told. Arthur promised her he would ring again as soon as they finished in theatre if she hadn’t arrived by then. Then he went in to start the operation. Arthur’s registrar was waiting and the other Consultant had also come in to help. Ms Annis was a good surgeon and they soon started, getting all the shot from the young man’s side repairing tissues and blood vessels as they went. It took them six hours before they could finally close up and finish the operation.

Merlin was taken straight to ITU and kept on a ventilator. As they finished up Arthur couldn’t remember being so tired before. He cleaned up and went to find Hunith who had arrived two hours earlier. He found Hunith sitting in the waiting room of ITU where she had been sent on arrival. He was surprised to see Freya’s parents there. They were devastated, but still had time to worry about Merlin. Arthur told them that they had done all they could and it was a case of waiting. Infection would be the biggest risk due to the nature of the injury. 

Hunith told Arthur that the couple had just got engaged and were buying their engagement ring. In fact Freya died wearing the ring they had chosen. He told Hunith she could stay at his house for as long as she wanted. Gwen had been rung by the A&E consultant to say Arthur wouldn’t be home until later. Percy and Leon had made sure the rest of their friends knew. There would be no meeting that night. 

Arthur went to ring Gwen and told her that Merlin had been shot, she had already been told. Leon was married to Morgana, Arthur’s sister, and she was with Gwen now. In a way he was pleased as at least he didn’t have to break the news to her. 

Arthur then took Hunith into see her son. They sat there together for a time before Arthur said he had to go, he needed to see Gwen and get some sleep. He told the staff to ring him anytime, if there was any change. As he was leaving one of Merlin’s foster brother’s arrived. Hunith had been a foster mother for many years and was still close to two of the boys, who had been in her care long term. 

William had both moved away but Hunith had rung to tell him that Merlin was in hospital. He now lived in Cornwall but had rushed to Camelot as soon as he had put the phone down. Arthur took him to Merlin’s side, so he could support Hunith.

His other foster brother worked in America in the New York police force. He had gone over to in an exchange for a year. He wasn’t due back for three months but had sent a message to say he was coming back early. He would be flying in the next day. Gwaine was also Freya’s brother; in fact it was Gwaine that had introduced her to Merlin when he has finally traced his sister. 

They had been separated when their parents died. Freya had been taken in by their aunty, but they didn’t want to take responsibility for Gwaine, who was twelve at the time and a bit of a handful. Hunith was going to adopt Gwaine but when her husband died she was to grief stricken and when she wanted to later, Gwaine had said there was no need as she was his mother anyway. 

Before Arthur managed to leave the hospital, he was found by Leon who needed details of Merlin’s injuries for the police report. Arthur gave him the basic outline and said he would send a proper report in the morning. He had been due a day off but intended to come in and see Merlin.

Leon and Percy had been shocked when they found Merlin, and had had to fight to stay on the case. It was only because they had arrested all but one of the robbers that their chief inspector had allowed them to stay on the case even though they were good friends of the two victims. Merlin was known by many of the officers, due to attending road traffic accident and other such episodes over the past few years.

The next few days were fraught for everyone. Merlin developed a high temperature and had to be taken back to theatre for internal bleeding. He remained in a serious condition. Gwaine had arrived back, and was staying with Hunith and William in a vigil at the sick mans bedside. Arthur kept a close eye on his patient and just hoped he had no more complications.

The police search for the robber continued and there was a heavy presence in the town. People were shocked by what had happened. This was normally a peaceful place and not somewhere you would expect this sort of thing to happen.

Arthur finally managed to leave for home. As he drove into the drive everything suddenly hit him. Until now he had be running on adrenaline. He sat in the car waiting for the shaking to stop. His whole body felt like it belonged to someone else. He put his head on the steering wheel and the tears started to fall, he was unable to stop them.


	4. Chapter 4

Hunith, Will and Gwaine continued to stay with Merlin, leaving only when made to. Hunith was in shock it reminded her of when Balinor had died after being hit by a drunk driver. He had spent three weeks on a ventilator until they had switched it off.  
Will was angry, it just wasn’t fair. Merlin and Freya had been the nicest couple he had ever known. He wanted to go out into the town and search for the killer but knew Hunith needed him more.  
Gwaine was devastated by what had happened. Before Gwaine had left for America the two men had spent many hours discussing his attachment to the NYPD and Merlin had worried about Gwaine’s safety. They had argued about the placement on several occasions until finally Merlin had given in and wished him luck, and now it was Merlin who was in hospital with gunshot wounds. What was worse Freya his sister, who he already lost once, was dead! Merlin had been worried about Gwaine having to deal with gun crime, yet two people who meant the world to him had been shot. in a quiet English town, where the worse that normally happened was a bit of speeding and shoplifting, and now he was back, so he could attend his sister’s funeral, and to watch Merlin fighting for his life.

Gwaine thought about the time he had met Freya again after he had traced her. He remembered being angry with her for insisting on calling their Uncle and Aunt her parents, after all they were dead. But Freya had insisted they were her parents, they had adopted her and cared for as their own. She had then pointed out that Gwaine called Hunith Mum and Merlin brother and it was no different. She said they had room in their hearts for everyone. Gwaine soon learnt his sister might be quiet, but she was more than capable of speaking her mind. Little was he to know that just one month later when he took her to meet Hunith and Merlin that it would be love at first sight for Freya and Merlin. Somewhat difficult when Freya was his sister and thought of Merlin as his brother!

The three worried people sat each lost in their own thoughts, all wanting the young man in the bed to wake up and get better.

Arthur was arriving home every day tired and irritable. Merlin would soon be woken up and taken of the ventilator and he would be the one to tell him Freya was dead. He couldn’t expect Hunith to do it. He wondered if Merlin had realised before he was shot himself. The witnesses said Merlin has seen Freya shot, but that didn’t mean he knew the love of his life was gone. 

He walked up the drive to his home on the fourth day to be greeted by Gwen.  
“I’ve let Ygraine stay at your parents, I thought it best, and your Mum said she was still enjoying herself.”

Arthur nodded, their four year old daughter was at his parents on the day Merlin was shot, and they had left her there. He was glad his daughter hadn’t been there to see her parents in such a mess. Arthur went and held his wife putting his head on her shoulder.

“He’s going to be woken up tomorrow; will he thank me or curse me for saving him? How will he cope? he loved Freya so much. I keep wondering how I would feel if anything happened to you or Ygraine.” 

“Stop it Arthur, you did your best for him and one day he will realise that. We just have to be there for him.”  
Arthur looked at her “I hope that’s true because I don’t want him to hate me for saving him.” 

In town the search was still going on for the missing gunman. He was believed to still be armed, no trace of the gun had been found. A house search was going on checking all garden sheds. The press were now on the scene and cameras and reporters were everywhere. Leon and Percy like most of the local police had been putting in a lot of overtime. There were police from all over the country in the area. Leon’s wife Morgana had been visiting Gwen every day so they could support each other. Morgana was worried about Arthur she knew her brother would be putting himself under all sorts of pressure. They all loved Merlin, but Arthur had been his best friend since primary school. She couldn’t think what it must have been like to have to operate on someone that close to you.

The next morning Arthur got to the hospital and parked in his reserved spot before entering the building. It had never seemed such a depressing place before. He was greeted by several people before he managed to get to ITU. Letting himself in using his security tag he went straight to Merlin’s bedside. The anaesthetist was already there.  
“Hello Arthur thought you might turn up early” Dr Godwyn had been the ITU head for as long as Arthur had worked at Camelot General. He was a good man and knew his job. Arthur was pleased to see him there.

“How’s Merlin doing?” Arthur waited

“Good, as planned we will reduce his sedation this morning, I know it’s early but all his signs are good and I suspect you’ll want him moving as soon as you can. Hopefully we can get him of the ventilator.” Dr Godwyn looked confident.  
“We might have some problems, He’s going to be very upset once he’s awake, and you know he saw his fiancé killed?” Arthur wasn’t looking forward to Merlin’s reaction.

“I heard he’s a good friend of yours as well. But you can’t protect him from reality Arthur.” This was said kindly but firmly.

“I know but I don’t want him putting any strain on his side, he has more holes than a colander. I’ve already had to take him back once to theatre once for a bleed I’d rather not have to do it again.”Arthur was nervous.

“Arthur why don’t you let Annis take over this case? You’re too close.” The older man hoped Arthur would see sense; he was looking more stressed every day.

“No, I’ll carry on, but thank you for your concern.” Arthur had thought about it but decided he needed to be there for his friend.

The surgeon went to the head of the bed and wiped Merlin’s forehead. “Come on Merlin, get better, Freya wouldn’t want you like this.” His voice hitched as he said the dead girl’s name.  
Turned to the anaesthetist he asked: “Where can I find Merlin’s family?”

“They’ve just gone for something to eat. They will be back soon. Do you want me to talk to them?”

“No I will. See you later; can you give me a call before you wake him up?”  
“No problem. See you later.” Arthur left to go to find Hunith, Gwaine and Will.


	5. Chapter 5

In the next town Freya’s adoptive parents were lost. They couldn’t believe that Freya was dead, they had never expected to have children. Alice was unable to carry children so they had stopped trying after the fourth miscarriage. They had thought about adopting before but they thought they were getting to old so Gaius said it didn’t matter, but when Alice’s younger sister was killed they gladly took over the care of Freya. They adopted her year later. They had been too frightened by her brother, he was always in trouble. But then when he had traced them years later they had found he had grown into a lovely lad. Gwaine had introduced their Freya to Merlin who was a lovely boy and someone they would have been proud to have as a son in law. Now Freya was dead and Merlin fighting for his life. They were lost. 

That morning the jeweller had contacted them to offer his condolences and had said they could keep the engagement ring she had been wearing when she was killed. He said he knew that was the one they would have bought. Alice said she would ask Merlin when he was better. She thought it should be up to him. They couldn’t even arrange the funeral as her body couldn’t be released. Gaius hoped it wasn’t going to be a double funeral. He was an undertaker and this was one funeral he didn’t want to organise but he knew he would. He wanted the best for their beloved Freya.

Arthur found Hunith and the two men sitting in the canteen. He told them they would be waking Merlin up later and hopefully he would be taken of the ventilator. He reassured them he would be there and told Hunith he would tell Merlin Freya was dead.   
“Oh my poor boy, how will he cope. You know he’ll blame himself?” Hunith couldn’t bear to think of her son’s reaction.

“I know Hunith, all we can do is be there for him.” There was nothing else he could say, he knew Hunith was right. Merlin had been so protective he would see it at his failure. “ITU will call me when they’re going to take the tube out. I’ll see you then, but I must go and check on the rest of my patients. Try not to worry.” 

“Only if you do the same Arthur.” Gwaine looked at his friend. “I know you you’re just as worried as us.”  
Arthur left the group and went to do his rounds. Gwaine looked at Hunith. “It will be hard for them both.”  
“I know Gwaine, I know.”   
With that he three of them wandered back up to ITU.

In the police station Percy and Leon were looking through all the statements taken by the uniformed police, looking for anything that would help in the search. Percy was looking through statements from the large housing estate on the north of Camelot. They had spent the morning talking to every informant and contact they knew. But no one seemed to have heard anything. The two men in the cells were from London and appeared to have no local connections.

Then they got word from the interview room. The unarmed robber had given them a name. It seemed he realised that although he had been unarmed he was up to his neck in a murder. The missing man was called Hengist. He had a cousin who lived in Camelot. They now had an address to go on. The armed police went to the address and a siege was now underway. Hengist was inside the address but wouldn’t give himself up and had fired on the police. There was no one else at the address so it was a matter of time. 

In ITU Arthur arrived to find Ms Annis already there. “I thought you could do with some support” Arthur gave her a slight grin.   
At the bed side Dr Godwyn was removing Merlin’s tube, they had reduced his sedation throughout the morning and Merlin was now breathing for himself. He had been getting more and more anxious so the time had arrived to get on with the last stage. Arthur moved forward so he could get to Merlin’s side as soon as he could. The tube was removed and Merlin was now trying to talk.

“Take it easy for a minute Merlin, you need to take it easy.” Dr Godwyn stepped to one side and Merlin saw Arthur for the first time.

“Hello Merlin, calm down just shake your head for a bit ok. Now you know you’re in hospital?”

Merlin nodded his head.

“Do you are in hospital do you remember what happened?”

Merlin frowned and then nodded once more but slowly this time. Then his eyes went wild as he remembered.

“Freya…..” he croaked looking at Arthur.

“Sorry Merlin” there was no point in pretending Arthur knew Merlin remembered.  
Merlin looked up at his friend and tears started to fall. He tried to sit up. Arthur put his hand on Merlin’s shoulder to stop him moving.

“No Merlin, you were shot, I’ve operated on you but you need to be careful.” Arthur gently squeezed Merlin’s shoulder

Tears continued to fall down the Merlin’s face and he turned his head away from Arthur. When he turned back he looked Arthur in the eye and in a quiet and slightly croaky voice he said “Why, why did you bother?” his voice sounded as if it was coming from the deepest pit of despair.

Arthur looked at his friend “Don’t say that, she wouldn’t have wanted you to feel this way.” Merlin looked away from Arthur and closed his eyes and sobbed.  
Hunith was allowed in and took her son’s hand and held it letting her son let go of this grief.

It took a further day to get the man to surrender.  
After arresting the man they took him to the station for questioning and he admitted the robbery. The police had the gun so they had all the proof they needed. Percy rang Arthur to tell him. At least Merlin could be told that the man had been caught.


	6. Chapter 6

Alice and Gaius had come to visit Merlin; they had been called by Hunith to say he was awake and that he was wishing himself dead. They hoped they could help Merlin in some way. They also hoped that he would continue to keep in touch with them he was their only contact with their dead daughter. It was with some trepidation that they went to his bedside.

Merlin was led with his eyes closed as they approached the bedside. They knew he was awake because they had just spoken to Hunith.

“Hello Merlin, its Alice and Gaius.” They paused and Merlin slowly opened his eyes. At first Merlin didn’t speak he just looked at them but then he quietly said in a very defeated voice.

“I’m sorry it was my fault, I should have just bought a ring and given it to her and now she’s gone. I couldn’t even go with her.”

“Now son don’t blame yourself, we all know she would have preferred to select the ring with you, and as for going with her she wouldn’t have wanted that.” Gaius spoke kindly but firmly, unshed tears in his eyes. He hated to see Merlin so. You were the world to her and you gave her the best days of her life. She loved you so much.”

“I want to go to her, but he saved me, he had no right.” Merlin sounded angry.

“You might think that now but give it time Merlin, Arthur did what he had to and you’ll understand that one day.” Alice spoke “We are very glad he did we couldn’t have born to lose you as well.”

Merlin just looked at her and said nothing. Several moments later he asked

“When is the funeral?”

“We don’t know yet the police haven’t released her. Mr James has said we can keep the ring….” Before Gaius could finish speaking Merlin butted in.

“Only if I pay for it…..she loved that ring….can she wear it when she’s b……….” Merlin finally broke down and couldn’t go on.

“Yes of course. I’ll make sure she is.” Gaius had hoped Merlin would say that.

The couple sat next to Merlin and held him as they cried together. Just before they left Alice put Freya’s locket round Merlin’s neck. 

“Freya would have wanted you to have this. She had worn it since her mother died. She had put a picture of you both inside.” Alice gave Merlin a peck on the cheek before turning to leave.

“We’ll be back again soon, just call if you need us.” Gaius squeezed Merlin’s shoulder and left with his wife.

Merlin held on to the locket as he sobbed once more. He was still crying when his mother came back to his side. It was better than the quiet anger he had been showing before.

As they left the bedside and went down the corridor to the exit they saw Arthur. “Mr Pendragon Thank you for what you did for Merlin.” Gaius wanted to make Arthur understand “We know Merlin seems ungrateful for his life, but it’s only his grief speaking.”

“I’m not so sure he will forgive me, but thank you anyway. I am so sorry about Freya she was a wonderful person.” Arthur was grateful to the couple, even in their grief they thought of others. He shook their hands before moving away. 

Gradually more and more of Merlin’s friends and colleagues visited him. All were shocked at his bitterness towards Arthur for saving his life. Percy and Leon came to take his statement as soon as Arthur felt he was strong enough. Afterwards they tried to get him to see that Arthur had no choice and that one day Merlin would feel differently but to no avail. Merlin even told them that if they felt that way they needed to be Arthur’s friends and not his. 

Arthur was finding it difficult. He knew that he would do the same thing again but he was beginning to think that he had lost his closest friend. Gwen tried her best to cheer him up as did all their friends but Merlin’s refusal to speak to him unless he had to, was wearing Arthur down. 

On one of his visits to check Merlin’s wounds the injured man turned on his best friend once again.

“Don’t come near me, I want a different doctor. I never want to see your face again!” Merlin’s face was contorted with anger.

Gwaine who was there tried to calm the situation but Merlin was insistent.

“That is your right Merlin, I’ll ask Ms Annis to take over your care” with that Arthur walked out.

Gwaine ran after him “Arthur he doesn’t mean it he’ll come round give him time.”

“I will Gwaine, but I don’t think he will, look after him for me and in a couple of months when he is in a better place tell him I’m sorry but I wouldn’t have done any different. He means too much to me.” Arthur was clearly trying to hold it together.

“I will, and if he won’t say it I will, thank you for saving him, thank you so much. I’ll keep in touch and let you know how he’s doing.” Gwaine gave Arthur a hug and went back to Merlin’s side.

When the police released Freya’s body ,her adoptive parents arranged the funeral. Freya had been very interested in the Woodland burials so Alice and Gaius asked what Merlin thought he agreed. They chose a Rowan tree to mark the site as it had been Freya’s favourite tree. The small brass plaque would just have her name and dates on. Ms Annis said Merlin could go out of hospital to attend, but still needed to come back for a couple more weeks. Two of the A&E nurses would go with him.

On the day of the funeral there was a large crowd of mourners, most of the town went to the church and lined the route. Merlin insisted on giving her eulogy. He was clearly devastated and totally heartbroken by her death.

It was family and close friends only at the Woodland Burial site. Percy and Leon went to represent the Police. Gwen and Morgana went but Merlin asked that Arthur didn’t go. He didn’t want to see his best friend. But Gaius and Alice over ruled him. To stop any problems Arthur kept out of Merlin’s sight. It hurt him greatly that his best friend still was unable to come to terms with what had happened, and wouldn’t forgive him but he hoped that sometime in the future they would once again resume their friendship.

At the time of the funeral Merlin still wished he had died with his soul mate and his grief was deep and bitter. Freya was buried with his ring on her finger and a photo of him and a lock of his hair in her coffin. In the locket round his neck were her photo and a small lock of her hair. The mourners left the grave side until in the end, Merlin was on his own. The nurses left him to pay his respects.

He fell to his knees and sobbed for the only woman he had ever loved. In the end Gwaine and Will had to move him from the graveside. Arthur watched from a distance wanting so much to offer his friend solace. Once back at the hospital he didn’t speak, eat or drink for twenty four hours. He only then started once more when Gwaine told him that Hunith was suffering. 

As soon as he was discharge he went back to the graveside and every day could be found there. Near his love. 

The end


End file.
